The verse and the objection
ٱلرِّجَالُ قَوَّٰمُونَ عَلَى ٱلنِّسَآءِ بِمَا فَضَّلَ ٱللَّهُ بَعۡضَهُمۡ عَلَىٰ بَعۡضٖ وَبِمَآ أَنفَقُواْ مِنۡ أَمۡوَٰلِهِمۡۚ فَٱلصَّٰلِحَٰتُ قَٰنِتَٰتٌ حَٰفِظَٰتٞ لِّلۡغَيۡبِ بِمَا حَفِظَ ٱللَّهُۚ وَٱلَّٰتِي تَخَافُونَ نُشُوزَهُنَّ فَعِظُوهُنَّ وَٱهۡجُرُوهُنَّ فِي ٱلۡمَضَاجِعِ وَٱضۡرِبُوهُنَّۖ فَإِنۡ أَطَعۡنَكُمۡ فَلَا تَبۡغُواْ عَلَيۡهِنَّ سَبِيلًاۗ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ كَانَ عَلِيّٗا كَبِيرٗاLes hommes ont autorité sur les femmes, en raison des qualités dont Allah a doté les uns de préférence aux autres et des charges familiales que les premiers doivent supporter. Les femmes vertueuses se montrent donc, par la grâce d’Allah, obéissantes, fidèles et honnêtes en l’absence de leurs époux. Quant à celles qui montrent des signes de rébellion, vous devrez d’abord les exhorter puis, au besoin, fuir leurs couches et, en dernier recours, les corriger. Si finalement elles vous obéissent, ne vous en prenez plus à elles. Allah, en vérité, est Très Haut et Très Grand.
Scholars explain that the verse sets out stages for handling discord: advice, then separation in bed. For the third, many interpreted it as something that does not hurt or leave a mark, such as a light touch with a tooth-stick, while others held it should not be resorted to at all. In his farewell sermon the Prophet ﷺ enjoined kindness to women. The verse regulates marital conflict and curbs excess; it is not a licence for violence.
The Prophet’s example
مَا ضَرَبَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ ﷺ شَيْئًا قَطُّ بِيَدِهِ، وَلَا امْرَأَةً وَلَا خَادِمًا، إِلَّا أَنْ يُجَاهِدَ فِي سَبِيلِ اللَّهِThe Messenger of Allah ﷺ never struck anything with his hand, neither a woman nor a servant, except when fighting in the cause of Allah.
خَيْرُكُمْ خَيْرُكُمْ لِأَهْلِهِ، وَأَنَا خَيْرُكُمْ لِأَهْلِيThe best of you are the best to their families, and I am the best of you to my family.
Questions fréquentes
Is it permissible in Islam to beat one’s wife?
Harming her is not permissible. The verse is limited as scholars explain it, and the Prophet’s example forbids harm.
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