The verse and the objection
ٱلرِّجَالُ قَوَّٰمُونَ عَلَى ٱلنِّسَآءِ بِمَا فَضَّلَ ٱللَّهُ بَعۡضَهُمۡ عَلَىٰ بَعۡضٖ وَبِمَآ أَنفَقُواْ مِنۡ أَمۡوَٰلِهِمۡۚ فَٱلصَّٰلِحَٰتُ قَٰنِتَٰتٌ حَٰفِظَٰتٞ لِّلۡغَيۡبِ بِمَا حَفِظَ ٱللَّهُۚ وَٱلَّٰتِي تَخَافُونَ نُشُوزَهُنَّ فَعِظُوهُنَّ وَٱهۡجُرُوهُنَّ فِي ٱلۡمَضَاجِعِ وَٱضۡرِبُوهُنَّۖ فَإِنۡ أَطَعۡنَكُمۡ فَلَا تَبۡغُواْ عَلَيۡهِنَّ سَبِيلًاۗ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ كَانَ عَلِيّٗا كَبِيرٗاScholars explain that the verse sets out stages for handling discord: advice, then separation in bed. For the third, many interpreted it as something that does not hurt or leave a mark, such as a light touch with a tooth-stick, while others held it should not be resorted to at all. In his farewell sermon the Prophet ﷺ enjoined kindness to women. The verse regulates marital conflict and curbs excess; it is not a licence for violence.
The Prophet’s example
مَا ضَرَبَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ ﷺ شَيْئًا قَطُّ بِيَدِهِ، وَلَا امْرَأَةً وَلَا خَادِمًا، إِلَّا أَنْ يُجَاهِدَ فِي سَبِيلِ اللَّهِThe Messenger of Allah ﷺ never struck anything with his hand, neither a woman nor a servant, except when fighting in the cause of Allah.
خَيْرُكُمْ خَيْرُكُمْ لِأَهْلِهِ، وَأَنَا خَيْرُكُمْ لِأَهْلِيThe best of you are the best to their families, and I am the best of you to my family.
Frequently asked questions
Is it permissible in Islam to beat one’s wife?
Harming her is not permissible. The verse is limited as scholars explain it, and the Prophet’s example forbids harm.
Quran text and translations: QuranEnc. Hadith translations: HadeethEnc. Sources are shown on each item. Found a mistake? Tell us.