The verse and the objection
ٱلرِّجَالُ قَوَّٰمُونَ عَلَى ٱلنِّسَآءِ بِمَا فَضَّلَ ٱللَّهُ بَعۡضَهُمۡ عَلَىٰ بَعۡضٖ وَبِمَآ أَنفَقُواْ مِنۡ أَمۡوَٰلِهِمۡۚ فَٱلصَّٰلِحَٰتُ قَٰنِتَٰتٌ حَٰفِظَٰتٞ لِّلۡغَيۡبِ بِمَا حَفِظَ ٱللَّهُۚ وَٱلَّٰتِي تَخَافُونَ نُشُوزَهُنَّ فَعِظُوهُنَّ وَٱهۡجُرُوهُنَّ فِي ٱلۡمَضَاجِعِ وَٱضۡرِبُوهُنَّۖ فَإِنۡ أَطَعۡنَكُمۡ فَلَا تَبۡغُواْ عَلَيۡهِنَّ سَبِيلًاۗ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ كَانَ عَلِيّٗا كَبِيرٗاMen are in charge of women by [right of] what Allāh has given one over the other and what they spend [for maintenance] from their wealth. So righteous women are devoutly obedient, guarding in [the husband's] absence what Allāh would have them guard. But those [wives] from whom you fear arrogance - [first] advise them; [then if they persist], forsake them in bed; and [finally], strike them [lightly]. But if they obey you [once more], seek no means against them. Indeed, Allāh is ever Exalted and Grand.
Scholars explain that the verse sets out stages for handling discord: advice, then separation in bed. For the third, many interpreted it as something that does not hurt or leave a mark, such as a light touch with a tooth-stick, while others held it should not be resorted to at all. In his farewell sermon the Prophet ﷺ enjoined kindness to women. The verse regulates marital conflict and curbs excess; it is not a licence for violence.
The Prophet’s example
مَا ضَرَبَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ ﷺ شَيْئًا قَطُّ بِيَدِهِ، وَلَا امْرَأَةً وَلَا خَادِمًا، إِلَّا أَنْ يُجَاهِدَ فِي سَبِيلِ اللَّهِThe Messenger of Allah ﷺ never struck anything with his hand, neither a woman nor a servant, except when fighting in the cause of Allah.
خَيْرُكُمْ خَيْرُكُمْ لِأَهْلِهِ، وَأَنَا خَيْرُكُمْ لِأَهْلِيThe best of you are the best to their families, and I am the best of you to my family.
Frequently asked questions
Is it permissible in Islam to beat one’s wife?
Harming her is not permissible. The verse is limited as scholars explain it, and the Prophet’s example forbids harm.
Quran text and translations: QuranEnc. Hadith translations: HadeethEnc. Sources are shown on each item. Found a mistake? Tell us.